Saturday, August 18, 2007

Woo, new story, hot off the presses, or umm, keyboard. Hope you like it, tell your friends and loved ones, leave many a comment, I love to hear them.

Life in a factory.
By: Axlle

“Yeah boss?”
“Edward, I got a call from the supervisor from across the factory. He said they need a new assembly worker.”
“Okay, what does this have to do with me?”
“Simple, I’m sending you down there. Along with the new job there is a slight pay increase.”
“Excellent, when do I start?”
“In two weeks, after you train your replacement.”
“Does it really take two weeks to train a guy to do my job?”
“That is the amount of time you have, yes.”
“But, my job is so simple a monkey could do it. I mean, a day to train someone to screw these two parts togther is more then enough time.”
“Look, your stuck here for two more weeks whether I like it or not.”
“Pardon? No, never mind. I’ll have the new guy ready to go by then.”
“Good, you’ll meet them tomorrow. Now get back to work.”
“Aye boss.”
So was the conversation that led me into the oddest parts of the company. And, fairly soon, the next day came and I met my replacement for the first time.
“Hi, I’m the new guy” he said, a bit to chipper to have worked here for long, or ever.
“Well, you got a name new guy?”
“Yeah, but no one calls me by it anyway.”
“I see your point, sort of. In any case, I’m Eddie, and I’ll be training you for the next two weeks.”
“Okay Eddie, when do we start?”
“Right now, but I must warn you, this job is dull.”
“Good, I like dull things.”
“Okay then… Here is what you do. Take this cylinder in one hand, and this rubber wheel in the other, and screw them together. You don’t even have to screw it in all the way; the people in the next bay do that. Then you take the “completed” part, and put it onto this conveyer belt.”
“Oh, seems easy” He said confidently
“I don’t think it could get much easier. Go ahead and try one.” I told him
“Sure thing Ed”
“It’s Eddie”
After starring at the parts for way to long, he made his first attempt to assemble the pieces.
“How’s this Eddy?”
“It’s Eddie.”
“Eh?” He said, a bit puzzled.
“Never mind, let’s see how you did.”
Examining the part in my hand, I soon discovered he some how managed to screw up. Or backwards in this case. There was no doubt left in my mind I was going to need the whole two weeks for this. I showed him how to assemble the part again, and again, and again. Finally quitting time arrived, and of course, the boss pulled me aside before I could sneak off.
“Edward!” He shouted, even though I was right next to him.
“Yeah boss?” My normal reply.
“How is the new guy coming along?
“Well boss, I don’t think you could of found a bigger idiot if you tried.”
“So is he going to work out?”
“How should I know boss?”
“Well, you still have two weeks to train him.”
“Aye boss, two weeks.” I stated depressingly
I don’t think two weeks ever seemed so long, but they crawled by. The new guy, whom I still don’t know the name of, slowly figured out his job. And finally, the day I was looking forward to came.
“Edward!” The boss yelled, as I walked by that morning.
“Yeah boss?”
“Is the new guy trained?”
“As trained as he’s going to be.”
“Good, I want you to meet Scott. He is going to show you to your new job.
“Hello Scott, nice to meet you.”
“Shut up and let’s get going Charles.”
“It’s Eddie sir.”
“It’s Charles now.”
“I don’t see how that works, but whatever you say I guess.”
“Now. I’m here to show you to your new job. So if you’ll follow me.” He said, starting to walk away.
What I saw on the way to my new work station can only be described as odd. Very, very, odd.
We walked past my last station to find my replacement stuck in a hole in the wall. Which I’ve managed never to of noticed before. And not giving it a second thought, we continued on our way. We soon reached the bay next to mine.
“Tom, if you were ever curious as to what happens to your assembled parts, they come here to be screwed down.”
“I thought it was Charles… Wait, is that a monkey doing my job?”
“No, a monkey can’t do your job, they aren’t smart enough. He’s screwing that wheel the rest of the way down.”
“Well.” I said. “I hope you don’t pay him more then me.”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business Ed-e.”
“It’s Eddie, Scott.”
“And if you’ll follow me” he said, ignoring my comment. “You’ll see just what it is we build here.”
“Now there is something I’ve always wondered.”
We walked on for some time. I tried to look in as many bays I could. I watched as my parts disappeared and others were being worked on. Watching horse drawn wagons pull parts back and forth. Then seeing all those parts grow to something truly massive.
“Now Terry, behind these doors is the final product.
I looked at the doors he mentioned. They were three feet tall. This had me perplexed.
“There to discourage people from going inside. Follow me, and don’t touch anything.”
I followed Scott through those tiny doors, and into a room a few hundred feet tall. I had a good look around, and saw what must have been five hundred people working on one thing or another. Then I set my eyes upon what they were building. I saw its engines, its wings, and its NASA logo.
“Hang on. I work for NASA?”
“What makes you think that?” Scott replied
“Well, the logo for one.”
“Few people know what they actually do and who the actually work for.”
Scott gave a grin that chilled me to the bones after saying that.
“Isn’t that something. So, what will I be doing in here?”
“Oh Paul, you don’t work in this room.”
“I don’t” I said a bit disappointed.
“Of course not, I’ll show you to your new home.” Scott said, in a voice that made me want to punch him.
“I don’t like calling this place home.”
“Well, you certainly spend enough time here.”
“I think I spend too much time here.”
We passed many more bays on the way to our final destination. I must say I enjoyed watching the part get smaller and smaller. Wait, smaller?
“Hey Scott?” I asked
“I do wish you’d shut up Barry.”
“Edd… Oh, forget it. I just thought it seemed odd that the parts are getter smaller.”
“Oh, they are Bob. We build the aircraft, disassemble it, and sell half the parts.”
“Half the parts?”
“Yep. The other half is sent back through the line.”
“This place makes less sense the longer I work here.”
“Yep, soon you’ll just accept it and smile.”
“I doubt that will ever happen Scott.”
“We’ll see” Scott said
And so we went along our way. I never dreamed the factory was that size. And it wasn’t to long before we reached our final destination that something slipped out of my mouth.
“So, if we only sell half the parts. Who pays for all this?” I asked, knowing I’d regret it.
“Oh, well, these parts are rather expensive. Of course, our normal buyer is Russia. What they choose to do with them is none of our business.” He stated “Ah, here we are at you new home Richie.”
“I do wish you’d call me Eddie.”
“It doesn’t matter what I call you. You probably will never see me again.?
“What if I get transferred again?”
He gave a disheartening chuckle and opened the door to my new work station.
“This job is real simple Adam. Just screw that rubber wheel into that metal bit.”
“I just came from this job!” I yelled so hard my voice strained.
“Nonsense, your last job had three inch wheels, these are five inches.”
A slight grin came across my face. I couldn’t seem to get rid of it.
“Oh and Guy” he said, about to walk out. “Don’t worry about the blood on the walls, we’ll have that cleaned up soon.
So life went on. For the next two weeks I sat in that small room, staring at the red stained walls. Doing the exact job I was dancing to be free of, give or take a few inches. Till one day, Scott appeared at my door.
“Bad news Mark, you’re not working out here.” He said, all to chipper. But I was hardly surprised. “Now, you’ve seen to much of the company for us to fire you, so your being relocated.”
“Where to boss?” I said with a smile I couldn’t and didn’t want to remove.
“Antarctica.” he said happy with himself.
“And what will I be doing there?” At this point, my smile must have gone around the side of my head.
“Nothing, you’re just going there.”
“Okay boss.”
As we walked out the door, a lemur walked in, sat down, and started doing my job. I just remember being happy for him.
Now I’m sitting in this cargo plane, waiting to land. Grinning ear to ear.

1 comment:

Delirious said...

You obviously have worked in a factory before. :P Good job, and very funny. :)